Author: Crystal MoonCat

The Mr P I’m referring to is Sir Terry Pratchett author of the fantasy Discworld series and other brilliant tales.

I discovered his novels one day in my local library. They had a display of well known authors’ own favourite authors. I noted that somebody called Terry Pratchett listed Spike Milligan as his favourite. I remember thinking ‘Anyone that likes Spike Milligan can’t be bad’. (Spike Milligan’s ‘Puckoon’ is one of the funniest books in the history of writing).

So I had a forage around the library and found The Hogfather and that was it. I became one of the legion of Terry Pratchett fans.

 

I think it is his humour that does it for me, it’s not a joke a minute but clever musings from an extraordinary brain.

These are some of my favourite quotes from Sir Terry

Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine — once. Like the Borg, they learn…

I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It’s generally a better bet. There’s more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say "it was god’s will" when granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow.

I must confess the the activities of the UK governments for the past couple of years have been watched with frank admiration and amazement by Lord Vetinari. Outright theft as a policy had never occurred to him.

Let’s see, now… in HOGFATHER there are a number of stabbings, someone’s killed by a man made of knives, someone’s killed by the dark, and someone just been killed by a wardrobe.
It’s a book about the magic of childhood. You can tell.

Oh dear, I’m feeling political today. It’s just that it’s dawned on me that ‘zero tolerance’ only seems to mean putting extra police in poor, run-down areas, and not in the Stock Exchange.

My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them.

My dream holiday would be

a) a ticket to Amsterdam

b) immunity from prosecution and

c) a baseball bat 🙂

And from his Discworld novels …

"Alcohol didn’t seem to go to her brain at all. It could be that it couldn’t find it." – Thud!

What sort of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter. – Going Postal

This man was so absent-mindedly clever that he could paint pictures that didn’t just follow you around the room but went home with you and did the washing-up. – The Last Hero

If you trust in yourself … and believe in your dreams…and follow your star…you’ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy." – Wee Free Men

I talked with Sir Terry once at a book signing hoping to get him to come and talk to my local writers’ club. He gracefully declined saying that he didn’t do that sort of talk and found that writers’ clubs were generally populated by dry, boring old men on the pull. Thinking back on his comment I think he was partly right, I do remember a few mature and eager gentlemen at my club.

The Hogfather remains my favourite book of the series, Death being the best character. All his lines are written in capital letters, very powerful, after all who can argue with DEATH?

I love Wee Free Men too, it’s sort of like Braveheart on speed. I’d love to have a Nac Mac Feegle to keep in my bag to have handy for those awkward little moments out and about with traffic wardens and jobsworths

You’re a lovely man and my hero, Mr P!

Linda xx

Try to envisage the shoot from the cat’s point of view. Something 10 times your size is pointing something at you that makes strange noises and flashes and for good measure some prodding and poking is also taking place. Try for some empathy and at least a few soothing words. Make your movements slow and deliberate.

Check the cat’s eyes. Quite a few cats’ eyes accumulate dirt in the corners and it’s always easier to clean the eyes first rather than spend ages cloning the dirt out in Photoshop. That goes for the nose too; I have one cat that seems to like applying the remains of her food to her nose as some sort of feline badge of honour.

Location, location, location. If puss is prefers the indoors then photograph her there, preferably as close to her favourite spot as possible. If she is an indoors/outdoors cat try to photograph her preferably outdoors. Tree branches make great posing perches. It’s all about making the cat feel as comfortable and relaxed as possible.

Look out for the yawn. If you are tuned in to your cat’s facial expressions   look out for signs of a yawn about to take place. In an anthropomorphic sense a yawn can be translated as a laugh or a roar. Previous to snapping this picture I could see that Lily was revving up to a yawn and I was able to watch for the moment.

Kittens look great photographed with various props – think of the classic kitten in a wellie/flower pot/cardboard box. Woolly pom-poms that are bigger than the kitten’s head are effective. A vase of flowers will usually get a kitten sniff. For the duration of the shoot make sure the vase hasn’t any water in it as little accidents invariably happen. Adult cats are usually better photographed in a slightly more dignified manner. A big fleecy throw is inviting and relaxes the cat. Beware of backgrounds and try not to have them too cluttered. Using a shallow depth of field will help throw the background out of focus.

Avoid the dreaded “green eye” (red eye in humans). If you are using a camera with a built-in flash make sure the red eye setting is on. Bouncing the flash off a white ceiling ensures no green eye and no strong defined shadows behind the cat.

Photograph your cat at eye-level. Cats rarely photograph well from above unless you are going for a special effect with a fisheye lens. Getting that great ‘straight down the barrel look’ captures a lot of the character of the cat. In this example I was following Poppy around the room. She eventually settled on the shelf above the computer and flipped over to a ‘come up and see’ position.

An empty crisp packet is good to use as an attention getter. However after a few times of using it cats get wise to it and end up ignoring you. I use the inside of a squeaky toy as it I can hold it in my mouth and blow through it leaving my hands free to operate the camera. Beware – do not swallow!  I have had a 100% success rate with doing a dance in front of my cats (The Time Warp works a treat); the ‘astonished’ look is priceless.

Have back up.  A second person is invaluable and lets you have your hands free to operate the camera controls. Positioning the person behind you and getting them to raise their hand above your head results in a pleasing ‘heads up’ pose from puss. They are also useful in helping applying sticking plasters in the event that puss has been un-cooperative.

If all else fails in getting puss to pay attention bait with food as a last resort. Try a couple of prawns, kitty biscuits or cheesy bits – whatever your cat is used to as a treat. You may end up smelling like Billingsgate Fish Market but at least you should have your shot and Tiddles have her modelling fee.

 

You will be ‘conned’ by your kitten time and time again
Knitting and kittens do not mix

Kittens are faster than the speed of light
Never wear beads
If things go quiet then it’s time to worry
Kittens can hide in very small places
Sofas make great scratching posts
Kittens love to help with pruning your houseplants

Curtains are more fun to climb than ladders
Always carry tissues as you will be laughing a lot
Linda xx

That’s how long it took for a bag of carrots and a packet of Polo mints to disappear.
I took a little trip back up to Paws Animal Sanctuary to see how the abandoned pony was doing. It was dumped last Sunday in Findon village. If you follow the link above to Paws Facebook page you’ll get the full story.
What a difference a week makes. Thanks to the intensive love and care he’s been given he looks an altogether different pony from the one I saw last week. He’s been named Elvis by the way!

Elvis has a lot of eating to catch up on

I can actually see his lovely big eyes now.
Elvis got just a few carrots, they have to be careful with his feed as suddenly going from not having anything to eat to big meals can do a lot of harm.
The rest of the carrots and a packet of Polo mints got shared out amongst these reprobates!

Princess Snowdrop

Jasper

and Pixie

Stacey who runs PAWS (along with Sheila) with Princess Snowdrop and Jasper

And not forgetting the rescue chickens who become your new best friend when they spot you eating cake.

Linda xx

My name is Lily and I’m a 9 year old lady ginger cat.

I like to keep busy and I have loads of hobbies and interests such as

Camping

Trekking

Climbing


Listening to music


Water Divining

I am quite house proud too and like to do laundry

I always like to read the labels on things when I go shopping

I am quite strict in the house and make sure there is plenty of discipline

But I do take time off to party hard

But I’m a PussyCat really

You leave your laptop open for 5 minutes and suddenly you have a cat blogging away on it! Is nothing sacred?
Linda xx

I went to my favourite public gardens today to have a look at their Hellebore displays. There were massive clumps of them all around in the herbaceous borders. It’s a bit of a rigmarole getting a decent picture of them as their flowers tend to look down at the ground and you have to get on your hands and knees to look up at them! In fact most of the flowers out today were very close to the ground and I spent a lot of time down there with them this morning.

A chorus line of Hellebores

 

Growing in ascending order!

Then I had a bit of a crawl around and found these Snowdrops. All the other plants had straight leaves but these seemed to have a bit of a swirl about them

Vibrant colour with these Crocuses

Standing up (eventually) produced these

and the sun filtering through the peeling bark of the Paperbark Maple

When I see scenes like these, for me the countdown to Spring blooms and gorgeous light has started!

L xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few magic moments I’ve been privileged to witness over the years!

Happy Valentine’s Day xx

I am trying to convince myself that it’ll be Spring soon. I am thinking back to last Spring when I worked at a wildlife hospital looking after anything and everything that came through it’s doors.

I have to say my favourite little creature was the Magpie. Somebody brought in a nest of little birds, they were so tiny and ugly, but they had loads of personality. They would be quiet as you approached their cage but once they saw you they would all chirp and stretch their little necks up to be fed. We fed them little chunks of wet cat food about every 30mins at the beginning. As they gained more strength they would take turns to hop on your hand to be fed. They were very messy little things and it would take ages to clean out their cage, but worthwhile to see them warm and safe.

Eventually when they were old enough they progressed on to the outside aviary to get flying practice in and stretch their wings. By now they were feeding themselves but when you went into see them they would revert to helpless little bird mode and jump around to be fed as you can see below

Every single one from that nest fledged and although it was sad to see my ‘babies’ go it was great to see these brave little things become gorgeous independent adults

 

We also had more than our fair share of baby hedgehogs to look after. They were wriggly little things and getting a pipette of liquidised food into them was a full time job. More food went over their little faces than actually down their throats! But again, wonderful to see them grow up fit and healthy.

I have the pipettes and towels at the ready now for this year’s intake!

These are the lovely fabrics I bought at the Curtain Factory Outlet in London.

I had despaired of finding a curtain fabric retailer at reasonable prices. Went there a couple of Sundays ago on a recommendation from a lady over at The Sewing Forum. I didn’t really expect much, but when I got there I found this HUGE warehouse jam packed with fabric. I was like a kid in a sweetshop, which ones do I buy? So much choice. You could have locked me in there for days and I would still have been happy. Classic, vintage, modern – it was all there.

Eventually decided on the sequinned fabrics and the Scottie Dog and Vintage Rose ones. (I found the Scottie Dog fabric a couple of days later on sale in my local fabric shop for £5 more a metre!)

The staff there were all very helpful and carried the heavy bolts to the cutting table for me.

The icing on the cupcake is that there is a Waitrose next door with a big free car park. So parking isn’t a problem and you can spend the money you save on a nice bottle of wine or probably a couple of weeks’ groceries!!

I love finding places like this, it just makes crafting spends a bit more reasonable and at the same time giving you a bigger and better choice and that elusive and excellent customer service. I should point out I’m not related to anyone there and they didn’t pay me to write this either with money or fabric!!

And this is Jasmine asleep but not asleep!

L xx

If anyone had said to me that I would actually go to the cinema in 2012 to watch a silent film, thoroughly enjoy it and leave in a warm happy fuzzy frame of mind I would have said they were bonkers and look for the gin bottle they were obviously hiding about their person. By now you’ve probably guessed the film I’m talking about is The Artist.  It was cleverly done, funny and had a cute dog who most definitely deserves an Animal Oscar. I reckon little Uggie was probably the hardest worker on set!

But getting back to black and white films, I love them! They’re fantastic to watch on cold wet winter afternoons or when you’re a bit under the weather and tucked up under a warm duvet on the sofa.

I’ll watch anything with Margaret Rutherford, she was one of the funniest comic actresses of her time and to me she will always be THE Miss Marple, no other actress has come close in my opinion.

Spookily, she also starred in one of my absolutely favourite old British films Passport to Pimlico.

When anyone mentions Ealing Comedies this is the film that comes to mind. I think it was one of their very best productions. Nothing beats the British sense of humour!

And last but not least the incomparable Alec Guinness in Kind Hearts and Coronets

and the school I always wished I could go to ……St Trinians

 

 

L xx